Message

2006-09-10

Oh, boy!
I don't know how you can stand wee children. They annoy me to no extent with their whininess, and flinging of excrement. But, babysitting is the greatest. You stick them in bed, tell them to shutup, watch TV all night and get MONEY. It's almost as good as our hypthotical underaged porn industry. Although I have the feeling you're used to dealing with immature weirdos and are probably quite nice to the little buggers, considering you have an ongoing correspondence with me.
Anyway. MOVING ON.
At safeway I'm a cashier. I'm a horrible cashier, but that's okay because they force me to work the closing shifts where only two-people come in per-hour and I spend the entire night watching the produce for invasive terrorists. And laughing at midgets behind my smile of Superior Customer Service. Would you like help out with your bags tonight?
You should definately work at Walmart and infiltrate their capitalist regime from the inside! You can bring a camera in and if you happen to come upon any of the alleged underpage slaves they keep chained up in their unhygienic basement, you'll be the next Supersize Me Guy! Only, much more camera friendly, seeing as you're freeing the children from their oppressors as opposed to getting fat. Yayy!

Just the other day I met a boy. He works at starbucks and I'm madly in love! Although this may be because he has unlimited access to caffeine and is really cute. I stalk him by drinking way too much for my own good/bladder because I've suddenly developed an annoying habit of being shy and short of words. Which, as you can probably tell from this lengthy superfluous letter, is quite rare for me.

I have so many questions to ask you. Why did the gay dude marry a girl? Was she manlike? Was she hot? Was he? But most importantly, WHERE ARE THE PICTURES OF YOUR SEXY NEW HAIR!? Ohgosh. I'm having an invisible orgasm just imagining the hottitude. I got my hair cut, but it looks butch and nasty. So I'm just going to wear a hat for the next six weeks.

I don't know what would happen if you died, but if I did, I'd definately come back as a zombie and go on a fulfilling search for my bestest penpal buddy!

Ten Thousand Beached Whales Worth Of Love